America's Christmas Party
by seabelangermly
Summary: America has everyone over for a drinking party. Everyone starts to sing. Where's Finland? Why are there children here? Magic presents? MAJOR CRACKFIC...no pairings


Everyone was drunk at America's Christmas party. It was 3am already. "C'mon everyone! Lets sing a song!" He shrieked.

"I'll start!" yelled Italy. "On the first day of Christmas my best friend gave to me, a pasta for Germany!" A bowl of noodles appeared in front of Germany.

"On the second day of Christmas, mein bruder gave to me, two mugs of beer!" Germany shouted. Two beers appeared in front of Germany, who really didn't need them.

"And a pasta for Germany!" A bowl of pasta landed on top of the beers, which he pushed aside.

France stood up on his chair. "On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, three French roses!" Three roses appeared in front of him. A tag read, 'Love, England.' "Ohonhonhon! I knew it!"

"Two mugs of beer!" They fell on the floor.

"Another pasta for Germany!" They both appeared. Germany pushed the pasta aside and drank the beer.

England grinned. "On the fourth day of Christmas, a wizard gave to me, four flying fairies!" He stared at the ceiling. "Look! I see them!" Everyone looked, but no one saw anything.

"Three French roses!" They fell on his head. "Ow! Thorns!"

"Two more mugs of beer!" They fell on Prussia's head. He passed out.

"A pasta for Germany!" It landed upside down on his lap. He didn't notice.

America fell into his chair. "On the fifth day of Christmas, McDonald's gave to me, five Big Macs!" Five perfectly wrapped burgers landed in front of him. He shoved them in his mouth and they were gone.

"Four flying fairies! Oh my gosh! They're up there!" England tilted back in his chair and fell.

"Three French roses! Thank you England!"

"Two more beers! Ah! They spilled!"

"Still another pasta for Germany! Ow! Hot!"

Sealand walked in the door. "On the sixth day of Christmas, my jerk brother gave to me, six Sealand flags!" Six Sealand flags fell on England's head. He stood up and chucked them at Prussia, who was still passed out.

"Five Big Macs!" They fell on a sleeping Russia, who sat up. "My burgers!"

"Four flying fairies! Oh no! They're pulling my hair! Make them stop!"

"Three thorn-less French roses!"

"Two more beers!"

"Pasta for Germany! Spaghetti! It looks like hair!"

"On the seventh day of Christmas, big brother gave to me, seven purple ribbons!" Why were Lichtenstein and Sealand here? Seven ribbons fell in front of her. She tied one in Switzerland's hair. He didn't even notice.

"Six Sealand flags!" Flags hung themselves all over the walls.

"Five Big Macs!"

"Four flying fairies!"

"Three French roses!"

"Two mugs of beer!"

"A pasta for Germany!" The floor was now littered with roses, empty beer mugs, burger wrappers, and flags. Poor America would have to clean it up eventually. Hungary smiled.

"On the eighth day of Christmas, Austria gave to me, eight frying pans!" Eight frying pans dropped themselves on Prussia's head.

"Seven purple ribbons!"

"Six Sealand flags!"

"Five Big Macs!"

"Four flying fairies!"

"Three French roses!"

"Two mugs of beer!"

"And a pasta for Germany!" Everything was going to the wrong person now. Ribbons fell in France's hair. American flags hung themselves around. Hamburgers were dropped on Germany. Thorned roses poked England's face. Italy had more beer in front of him. Pasta fell between Lichtenstein and Sealand by the door. Everyone was too drunk to notice.

Spain put his arm around Romano's shoulder and sang, "On the ninth day of Christmas, my slave brought to me, nine ripe tomatoes!" As they fell all over, they smashed on people's heads, on the table, on the floor.

"Eight frying pans!"

"Seven purple ribbons!"

"Six Sealand flags!"

"Five Big Macs!"

"Four flying fairies!"

"Three French roses!"

"Two mugs of beer!"

"And a pasta for Germany!" Again, nothing fell to the right person. A frying pan hit Russia, which scared Hungary. She backed into a flag and got tangled. America laughed, so England threw a rose at him. France yelled about abusing the rose's beauty and dumped beer on his head. He threw a hamburger back but hit Germany, who fell into a bowl of pasta. Italy clapped.

"On the tenth day of Christmas, my pony gave to me, ten houses totally pink!" Poland suddenly sat up on the couch. Pink dollhouses fell on Romano's head.

"Nine ripe tomatoes!" Tomatoes hit Italy.

"Eight frying pans!" France and England got hit with frying pans.

"Seven purple ribbons!" Ribbons tied themselves to Poland's hair.

"Six Sealand flags!" Flags fell on America.

"Five Big Macs!" Sealand found burgers in his hat.

"Four flying fairies!" England shrieked about the fairies fighting by the ceiling.

"Three French roses!" Spain got roses down the back of his shirt.

"Two mugs of beer!" Lichtenstein found a beer in front of her, which she knocked onto the floor.

"And a pasta for Germany!" Pasta appeared on the floor.

"On the eleventh day of Christmas, Mr. Russia gave to me, eleven inches shorter." Latvia leaned back in his chair. He got hit on the head with a pipe.

"Ten houses totally pink!" A dollhouse fell on Latvia's head.

"Nine ripe tomatoes!" Germany wiped smashed tomato out of his hair.

"Eight frying pans!" Romano yelled as one dropped on his head.

"Seven purple ribbons!" France made a necklace.

"Six Sealand flags!" America screamed about it being dark.

"Five Big Macs!" England threw the greasy American food around the room.

"Four flying fairies! No! They're starting a war!"

"Three French roses!" Italy caught the falling flowers.

"Two mugs of beer!" They smashed to the ground.

"And a pasta for Germany!" More noodles fell on Germany's head.

"On the twelfth day of Christmas, my brother gave to me, twelve wedding rings!" Belarus ran up and hugged Russia. Twelve rings fell on her head.

"Eleven inches shorter!"

"Ten houses totally pink!"

"Nine ripe tomatoes!"

"Eight frying pans!"

"Seven purple ribbons!"

"Six Sealand flags!"

"Five Big Macs!"

"Four flying fairies!"

"Three French roses!"

"Two mugs of beer!"

"And a pasta for Germany!" Everything dumped itself in the middle of the table. Beer and tomato juice dripped. Everything else was in a wet heap. A door opened and shut. Everyone was quiet.

"It didn't work. Nobody saw me, even after I gave them all their Christmas wishes." Canada sat down in the hallway.

"It's okay, Canada. You made them believe in Christmas magic." Finland sat beside him and smiled. "We'll try again next year."

"But nobody even saw me. They saw magic presents dropping from the ceiling." Canada sighed.

"I can see you." Finland put a Santa hat on Canada's head. "Now I'll remember who you are."

"That's a good start."


End file.
